The Mythical Zebra Ass That Jenga'd Part I: Yuuya BonerEdit

The fog was shit, no I mean it was literally shit, the fog was brown and smelled like my mother's cooking not even fucking joking. My box of edible condoms had passed it's expiration date but I didn't even a give a fuck. Sweat dripped from my face like sweat was dripping from my face because sweat was in fact dripping from my face believe it or not. I was driving as fast as I fucking could in the Nokiamobile, which wasn't even fucking fast in the fucking first place, why the fuck did I buy this god damn car I hate my life. I looked back to find Yuuya Sakazaki still unconcious in the back seat still clutching onto his big meaty bird boner dick.

I was driving to Mt. Cunt to finish what I started a long time ago, 15 years, 8 months, 5 days and 8 milligrams ago to be exact. The road was as slippery as the slickest water-based lubricant imagineable, one wrong turn and this phone-car hybrid will go straight to the fucking underworld, not even joking. I sat there as my heart raced so fast blood was trickling from my ass down to my thigh. My foot slammed so hard on the gas pedal it wasn't even welcomed to the jam, my vagina nearly flew off into Viridian City with the excrutiating butthurt I was feeling. Regardless, none of that stopped me from moving forward, not even the dildo lodged in my stomach could cease my current assfuckery.

Once I finally made it to the top of the cloaca-shaped mountain known as Mt. Cunt I put the Nokiamobile in puase and stepped out of the car to see that very same tower of wooden blocks of long ago still there. I quickly rushed over to the staggering piece of shit, I then gently removed one piece then waited. However, I did not in fact wait long, the zebra ass poltergeist slowly pushed a block forward making it drop to the ground, but the tower was still standing. Impatiently, I kicked the tower down, poured gasoline of the pile of wooden Jenga blocks and a sobbing zebra ass poltergeist and set it on fire by farting on it. I kneeled down in front of the burning ashes of the clusterfuck of what was wood and ghost.

"May Pigeon Satan have mercy on your soul." I whispered under the hush of my own breath. "I had no choice, your blog sucked mythical zebra ass."

The Mythical Zebra Ass That Jenga'd Part II: AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahEdit

I decided to sit my ass down for a second and think about what I've just done because let's admit it, that didn't do motherfucking shit. I mean seriously, Yuuya is still unconcious and still has a massive cloaca penis boner thing, the remains of the wood and zebra ass poltergeist are still here, the fog is still shit, the dildo is still lodged in my god damn fucking stomach and hoLY HELL I RAN OUT Of EXPIRED EDIBLE CONDOMS SHIT SHIT SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaahh... Wait a motherfucking minute I have another box thank fucking Pigeon Satan once again, holy shit. Because I lacked common sense and didn't know what else to fucking do, I slammed that pile of ashes I just burnt into the passenger seat of my car because why the fuck not, its not like I have anything else to fucking do anyway. I decided to drive back because why the fuck should I stay there, the view was ass, the ground was ass, the experience was ass and the way there was ass, I'm fucking going home.

On the way home, I saw someone crossing the road but I didn't really care and I accidentally ran them over on purpose. I didn't even give a shit about that, I do what I want. But once I was on the driveway, I glanced at the passenger seat to find the pile of ashes gone, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhh..... Hahahahahahuehuehue who gives a fuck about that shit?

So then I decided to drag Yuuya, unsurprisingly still unconcious holy fuck, onto the couch and brutally fuck him and his massive boner in his sleep give him a blanket or some shit to keep him and his massive boner warm because I CAN BE NICE SHUT UP *tsun tsun*. I then headed off to bed myself because I was tired with today's bullshit and I wanted to move on to tomorrow's bullshit, which unsurprisingly, will be even more bullshittier than the last. ...Fuck me for sleeping then I should have brutally fuck Yuuya.

If you don't think this is a "To be continued." line of text you're stupid, I'm sorry.


This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Tumblr user whimsicallifesyle .